the internets they know everything

All Romance Hell No

So.

This landed in my inbox today.

FROM: All Romance Ebooks
TO: contact@lilithsaintcrow.com
DATE: 28 December 2016 at 10:57
SUBJECT: All Romance Closure

RE: All Romance Closure

ALL ROMANCE EBOOKS, LLC
6252 Commercial Way #145, Weeki Wachee, FL 34613

To Whom It May Concern:

It is with great sadness I announce that we are winding down the operations of All Romance eBooks, LLC. For the first year since opening in 2006, we will be posting a loss. The financial forecast for 2017 isn’t hopeful and we’ve accepted that there is not a viable path forward.
We are grateful for the opportunity to have worked with you. On midnight, December 31, our sites will go dark and your content will cease to be available for sale through our platforms. This includes any content you are having us distribute to Apple. If you wish to inactivate your content sooner, you can do so by logging into your publisher portal.

We will be unable to remit Q4 2016 commissions in full and are proposing a settlement of 10 cents on the dollar (USD) for payments received through 27 December 2016. We also request the following conditions:

1. That you consider this negotiated settlement to be “paid in full”.
2. That no further legal action be taken with regards to the above referenced commissions owed.

If you are willing to accept the offered amount and the terms proposed, please hit the reply on this email keeping the history intact. Change the subject to “Publisher Settlement Acceptance” and copy/paste the acceptance statement below into your email, filling in the fields.

Upon receipt of the signed agreement, I will authorize payment of the settlement amount in full by 28 February 2016 via the method stipulated in your publisher account.

It is my sincere hope that we will be able to settle this account and avoid filing for bankruptcy, which would undoubtedly be a prolonged and costl y process.

I appreciate that you may have questions. Unfortunately, we will be operating with limited staff as we prepare for closure. We will do our best to respond to the extent possible and will do so in the order received. Our priority over the next few weeks will be processing settlement requests. At this time, there is no additional information to share.

I thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.

Sincerely,

Lori James

All Romance Ebooks, LLC

Acceptance of Agreement:
I accept the terms of the attached proposed settlement on this date.

Signature:

Electronic Signature
The author’s sub mission of the information entered by selection of the submit button below shall constitute author’s signature signifying acceptance of this Agreement with the intent that it be valid for all purposes and in compliance with the U.S. Electronic Signatures in Global and National Commerce Act of 2000 and the laws of any other applicable jurisdiction.

Please note: This message is intended for use by the person or entity to which it is addressed. Please do not disseminate, distribute or copy. If you have received this message by error, please notify us immediately and destroy the related message. Re-disclosure without appropriate consent is prohibited.

Interesting. This is the same company that, as recently as last week, was putting together ads for Boxing Day sales, and contacted me for permission to sell my self-published ebooks at a discount during the sale. It’s also really interesting because half of it’s a scare tactic. Ten cents on the dollar for royalties? No, I don’t think so. That’s not how business is done. Additionally, “Re-disclosure without appropriate consent is prohibited” in what universe? You can bet your bippy I’m disclosing this, because you’re attempting to take advantage of numerous writers.

ARe used to be a good distribution channel. Now I’m wondering if the royalty statements I’ve received from them for the last year of sales are accurate, and I’m wondering what other chicanery is afoot. I am a little steamed at the moment, so I won’t unpack this further. Their website is crashing now, no doubt as publishers yank their books and customers attempt to use their credits and gift certificates (that they pushed before Christmas, not to mention the 2017 advertising they took money for) and in short, it’s a fucking mess.

Here’s my response to their ungenerous offer:

FROM: Lilith Saintcrow
TO: All Romance Ebooks
DATE: 28 December 2016 at 18:21
SUBJECT: Re: All Romance Closure
Dear Ms James,

I do NOT accept this “deal.” You will pay me the royalties you are legally obligated to. You will provide me with a reasonable schedule within which the whole of said royalties will be paid. And you will not, under any circumstances, threaten me again as the “re-disclosure is prohibited” rider is an obvious attempt to do so.

Sincerely,

Lilith Saintcrow

I doubt I’ll ever see any of those royalties, but I am not resigned.

ETA: AS OF 6:37PM Pacific time, I managed to get in and inactivate the three self-pubbed books I had at ARe for distribution. They haven’t been deleted so customers can go and make sure they’ve downloaded! Keep trying to get through, it took me about an hour to do so.

Boxing Day

Happy Boxing Day! I am celebrating by getting out and running again, since there are not huge…tracts of ice covering everything in sight. Miss B is extremely grateful for this. Partly because we haven’t run in a week and a half (due to illness and said icy wonderland) and partly because the decorating for the holiday is CHANGE, and while her tolerance for CHANGE is much larger than Odd Trundles’s, it was still overwhelmed by the DECORATING and the COOKING and the LATE MORNINGS and on and on. You get the idea.

Odd Trundles did not try to eat any ornaments this year, nor did he chew any stockings. Those tasks were left to Madame A, spending her first Yule with us by batting ornaments off the tree and all over the living room. I believe she got a little too into the spirit of decorating, but her enthusiasm has so far only led to merriment and not shattered glass underfoot, so all is well. She is growing braver by the day, coming upstairs to touch noses with Miss B regularly, but her tolerance of Odd’s large, noisy, schnorgling self is still…very low. As in, almost nonexistent. However, I have hope that she will soon grasp that the way to deal with him is with one swift retributive strike, which will teach him respect of her person and afterwards they may be the best of friends, for he is large and friendly and very warm to snuggle with.

There is other news. Fred and George have moved inside, along with Poor Batman and his Nurse Wendy Poppins. There was a…well, their apartment…uh, it’s complicated. Be sure to check back in the New Year, because I don’t think I can adequately explain without a little distance from the, erm, events. (I’ll give you hints: they involve a crossbow, Miranda losing her temper, Poor Batman screaming “BAAAAAAANE!” and a quite unsolicited offer of aid.)

Also coming in the New Year is a brand new serial for my Patreon peeps! I am changing my Patreon to a monthly subscription, and to make it worth your cash will be bringing out a chapter a week of a all-new book.

So I’m going to take the week off blogging until said New Year. 2016 has been a dumpster fire, but I am hoping it has seen the birth of new heroes too. I’ll be around intermittently on other social media, but I think we could all use a break. When I come back, I’ll tell you about Fred and George, and the Flat of Doom…

Weekend Past

Zzzzzz Odd Trundles ate breakfast–not out of his bowl, alas. No, he ate from Miss B’s bowl. The two of them have a ritual most mornings, and it involves sitting in their accustomed places while I place the bowls, sniffing at their breakfasts, then switching bowls and gobbling the other dog’s (exactly the same) ration of kibble-and-whatever-else. So, Odd stuffed himself, then ambled into my bedroom and hopped onto my bed. He is currently snoring so loud I can hear him from the office.

Oh, to be a bulldog.

The weekend passed, as weekends do. On Saturday my writing partner and I went to the Ladybug Bazaar, as we are wont to do. The regular people she buys from soap from were not in evidence–they have an orange patchouli bar I love with a fierce abiding passion–but there was someone new, a leatherworker who had moved from from Boulder, CO. I am now the proud owner of a pen bandolier, and the Princess has a new (refillable) journal. (So do I. It will be used for Afterwar things.)

We also stopped by a tea shop we were both desperate to try, but after being snubbed for a good twenty minutes or so we left. *shrug* (Be warned, the website has an autoplay.) Given the amount of tea we both buy, and the fact that we both love high tea and all its furbelows, not a good move on a business’s part. But there are other tea shops, ones where we (and our cash) will be welcomed.

SPEAKING OF MY WRITING PARTNER, LOOK AT THIS SHINY NEW BOOK SHE WROTE AND YOU SHOULD READ.

wordlessDisaster reporter and internet celebrity Jack Tucker is disillusioned after a stint embedded in Iraq. The IED that destroyed his team’s Humvee brought him tragedy and regret, robbing him of the joy he took in his job—or anything else. He spends his days in a small Camden bookshop, struggling with writer’s block, until the elderly proprietor dies, leaving him adrift.

Lexie Worth abandoned a promising career to keep her uncle’s beloved bookstore alive. But the store’s tabby cat hates her, local poets invade twice a month for scurrilous readings, and she knows she shouldn’t get involved with sexy, troubled strangers like Jack. When the FBI comes knocking, with suspicions of fraud and racketeering, Lexie realizes someone’s after more than a first edition or two.

Someone’s been using the bookstore to hide their crimes. Someone dangerous—maybe even deadly. Jack wants to protect Lexie—if he can believe her. And if she doesn’t find out exactly who he is…

Just so you know, it’s available through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and many other fine retailers. There’s a paperback version coming out soon, too.

I am beside myself with joy, because I love this damn book. Library ladders! Pink horsehair sofa! A grumpy cat! DANGER AND IDENTITY THEFT! BUY IT READ IT LOVE IT LIKE I DO!

Ahem. Anyway, yeah, that’s my Monday. Afterwar and Harmony both need wordcount in the worst way. Fortunately, I can run now for the first time in a week or so, and the twitching under my skin (and Miss B’s) will no doubt enjoy being purged with sweat and effort. I can breathe now, and the snot had slowed to a trickle. (You’re welcome for that mental image.) So it’s off to the races, in more ways than one.

Over and out.

WASTELAND KING Release!

That’s right–at long last, the final Gallow & Ragged adventure is loose upon the world.

Gallow & Ragged

The plague has broken loose, the Wild Hunt is riding, and the balance of power in the sidhe realms is still shifting. The Unseelie King has a grudge against Jeremiah Gallow, but it will have to wait. For he needs Gallow’s services on a very delicate mission — and the prize for success is survival itself.

To save both Robin Ragged and himself, Gallow will have to do the unspeakable, and become what he never dreamed possible…

NOW AVAILABLE through independent bookstores, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.

Release day is always difficult, and none more so than the end of the series. A huge thank-you goes out to you, my faithful, constant Readers; I hope you like this adventure. There was a lot of pain in the birthing, but that’s true of everything.

So. Come around this corner, just a little further. That’s right, into the shadow here. Now, lean in, and let me tell you this story…

Mermaid Doesn’t Wait

This morning’s been all about soaking up the weird dreams I spent last night having while listening to Blue October. I still remember where I was the first time I heard Hate Me, they lyrics staying with me long enough that I got home and fired up my old Windows laptop (good God, that was a long time ago) to search for them. Approaching Normal is one hell of an album, and one that I’ve never felt the urge to write any books to just because it is so raw. It forces me to listen instead of write.

The mermaid short story will be finished today, I think. Then it’s into revisions for The Marked. Getting that done as soon as possible and through the copyediting and formatting is the priority now. Once that’s finished, I may look into the genie story again. It would be nice if a publisher would show some interest in that or in Afterwar, but I’m not holding my breath.

On that note, every once in a while, I’m going to quietly and politely ask that if you liked one of my books, you head on over to Amazon or Barnes & Noble or wherever you like, and at least leave a rating. Ratings and reviews get books pushed up in the algorithms, and that means more books sold, which means I can afford to write more books for you. (It also means I can pay my mortgage. I’m a big fan of that.) If you have the time and the inclination, I’d appreciate it.

There’s another short story pressing on the back of my brain to be told–the Fifteen Wings one–but that’s going to have to wait. It’s not finished marinating yet, and in any case, short stories are just not a good use of my working time unless they’re already sold. If the mermaid would wait, that would be nice. But this mermaid doesn’t wait, I think. Especially when she’s hungry.

The Princess is playing Chopin in the living room, which marries uneasily to the music playing softly through my desktop speakers. It makes me smile. As soon as I finish this I’m off for a run, and then it’s work, work, work. As usual. I feel like the year’s turned a corner, which would be nice if it hadn’t taken over half of it to do so. Of course the news is still terrible, but I have a faint glimmer or two of optimism welling up inside my tiny, shriveled, blackened little heart.

I’ll take it.

Audible Cryptography

This is how a dead man fucks with you.

Written music is a code, and breaking it is easier with a teacher. Since mine headed off across the continent, I’ve been tooling along on my own. Audible cryptography isn’t something I ever thought I’d be interested in, but there it is. Despite the frustration, I like it. It gives my brain something else to chew on (other than itself) and the only problem is, now I’ve started trying to figure out music instead of just listening to it. So, it gives surcease with one hand, and takes it away with the other.

Like most things in life.

Anyway, Bach is getting tricky. The minuet itself is simple(ish), but working with my hands so close together and figuring out what precisely he means when he wants my right thumb there instead of over here was frustrating as fuck. At least I have the internet and can look up other performances, and crack the code that way. Not a bad way to spend an evening, all told.

I should again mention the crowdfunding campaign for The Marked, and the writing workshop for teens I’m doing this upcoming Sunday. Other than that, it’s time for me to retreat for a weekend, and steal whatever time I can on this zombie apocalypse story.

Over and out.