Gaga Dad Joke

The Princess: “I… I had to buy them.”
Me: “You’re GODDAMN RIGHT you did.”
Also Me: “…what do they taste like?”
Princess: “Food coloring? I dunno. Try one.”
Me: “I’m good. I don’t need paparazzi.”
Princess: “But you have such a good poker face!”
Me: “I was born this way.”
Princess: “It wasn’t the product of a bad romance?”
Me: “I’m your mother. I can’t answer that.”
Princess: “…that’s fair.”
Me: “I gotta go.”
Princess: “Why, is something wro–“
Me: “I don’t want to talk anymore.”
Princess: “What hap–“
Me: “I lost my head and my heart on the dance floor.”
Princess: *groans*

That’s right. I did a Gaga-flavored dad joke. And I regret NOTHING.

Anyway, there was also a discussion of “they’re not chocolate Oreos, the dogs could technically–” followed by “do you really want either of those beasts on a sugar high?” and ending in a “…that’s fair, too.”

In conclusion, while I will never be too old to try new things, I am also old enough to look at certain things and say, “Nah, I’m good, you go ahead and enjoy.” I have informed the kids this is a perk of adulthood in general and motherhood in particular.

Then I went and ordered some Girl Scout cookies. Because I’m a gat-damn adult.

Have a good weekend, beloveds. Stay warm, hydrate, wash your hands, and wear your masks.

7 thoughts on “Gaga Dad Joke”

  1. I don’t know about your crew, but I’m pretty sure those cookies would give Crotchstomper McSnuggles food-coloring-flavored farts for at least a day and a half. I mean, I think we’d all survive, but I for one wouldn’t risk it. Not after The Incident With The Cashews.

    • Once, Odd Trundles got hold of something with red frosting. The food coloring made him absolutely bloody insane. It was hilarious to watch, but we never, ever gave him any other kind of frosting. Ever. We were afraid his poor little heart would give out, he was so sugar-crazed.

  2. My dearly departed Sheltie-mix had magenta, robin’s egg blue, and chartreuse poo for two days after an incident with Genius Kid’s crayons. I do not recommend putting Miss B and Boxnoggin to the test with the Gaga Oreos.

    Besides, they are not that tasty. I also HAD to buy them. The Girl Scout order was the better choice.

    • I think the saving grace there was that the kids wanted the Gaga cookies for themselves.

      The ironic thing is that our Girl Scout cookies got caught up in the recent polar weather and are sitting in a warehouse somewhere, unable to be delivered until the snow melts. It’s hilarious.

  3. Thank you for the Joke and the Oreo warning! I have come to the conclusion that I will eat nothing but the NORMAL Oreos .. ever since the Guess the “Mystery flavored” Oreos that about put me in the ER.. Allergic reaction to an ingredient that they would not expose… so to this day I have no idea what my reaction was to. So hope it doesn’t happen again..

    Off to order Girl Scout cookies from the Niece.. .. now that you mention it… lol.

    Hope you have a Wonderful day!

    • Mystery Oreos are one riddle I will never be tempted to solve. The kids chow through them like they’re going out of style, but I am old and stodgy. JUST GIVE ME MY DOUBLE-STUFS AND LEAVE ME BE.

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