Mouths of Babes

I am soaking rice noodles for a stir-fry lunch, and I thought, well, maybe I should blog a bit. Since it’s Tuesday, and already I got in and out of the post office before the lunch rush. I feel unjustifiably proud of that accomplishment.

You take it where you find it.

Anyway, one of the things in my post office box was a flier for a series of “free” lectures on Revelations, the Antichrist, and various other fun things from some weird guy. It was so quaint I brought it home and the Princess and I had a lot of fun going over its weird Photoshopped animals and wild claims. (Best take: “Chemical engineer drops out of college after making too much LSD, reads Revelations, and BINGO! Easy money!”) I am HIDEOUSLY amused, but the Princess looked a little troubled. “It’s all scaremongering,” she said. “And refreshments? They don’t offer those unless they want you to buy something.”

Wise words, from my darling child.

I’m sure the Little Prince’s analysis will be more along the lines of, “If lions had wings they’d look better than that. And is that the dinosaur from Jurassic Park?” Bad Photoshopping almost viscerally offends him. I’m not quite sure why, because this is the kid who plays Minecraft, and that pixellated cube-stuff drives me bonkers. If there’s a genetic component there, it’s doing some interesting bending and stretching.

Also hilarious: standing in the shampoo aisle with the Prince and saying, “Well, do you want the cool cucumber scent? Or the…Old Spice?”

“Mom.” Scandalized. “That’s for old guys.”

I texted that exchange to the Princess, who responded with, “Two tickets to That Thing You Love.

Nobody ever told me parenting would make me laugh this hard. Funny, funny little humans, growing up into scorchingly funny big humans.

Anyway, the rice noodles are fully soaked. Time to get my soy sauce, fried egg, and peanut oil on.

Over and out.