Life, MiscellaneousWeirdsville

Shoplifting Dream Assassins

dream landscape 2 I dreamed I got a job at a drugstore attached to a mall. A friend and I were hired at the same time, and our first few days went smoothly…until the manager had a day off and the assistant manager, a petty tyrant, took over. He was so nasty-tempered and insistent that my friend and I not speak to each other I outright quit that day and walked out, but had to stay in the area because I was my friend’s ride home. Which led to me wandering through crowds at a mall, never my favourite thing. I walked behind a group of kids–I think, in the dream, I was barely sixteen myself–and one of them bitched so loudly I said, “Oh, look, it’s Cher,” and they didn’t get it.

As I wandered, gradually recognizing that I was lost and couldn’t find the store to pick my friend up as the time to drive her home approached, I realized there were two groups of people using the crowd as cover–a team of shoplifting assassins and another team responsible for catching them. (Exactly how I knew the shoplifters were assassins is a mystery.) I got a text from someone I didn’t know, and was trying to text back that it was a wrong number, when my phone turned into a dishrag. So I put it back in my pocket, and I was having a type of fun positioning myself to watch the two teams without them seeing me when I suddenly thought, it’s time to pick her up, all you have to do is go outside and follow the building around and you’ll find her and the car.

Which led to me waking up, with a cold, sweat-gush feeling of relief that I’d figured something out. I felt a little guilty for leaving the friend working there when I had decided to quit, but relieved that I could just walk away from a bad situation and wasn’t trapped, trying to make it better.

My brain, honestly. Now I’m absorbing my morning coffee and wondering if a team of shoplifting assassins is a story idea or just one of those weird misfires the dreaming mind is prone to. Probably the latter, because why would assassins shoplift?

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Colleen Champagne

I dreamt of crumbling bridges, tumbling water and heaving asphalt. Our brains are amazing and perplexing. Shoplifting assassins so there is no trail?

Sean Coleman

Personally I either don’t dream or have nightmares however shoplifting assassins is entirely plausible teenagers from either a isolated culture or tribe/clan trying to fit in among our capitalist consumerist culture may indeed need to acquire their garments and and accessories in a less than legal manner


Disguises? Because the anti-assassin squad will hesitate to engage their targets if mall security is also watching them? Really great boots?