So Fred and George made their escape, scurrying down the hall…and, as luck would have it, into my office.
*sigh*
“IT SEEMS SAFER HERE.”
“WHERE’S HERE, FRED?”
“HOW SHOULD I KNOW? LET’S GO DRINKING, YOU SAID. WHAT COULD HAPPEN, YOU SAID.”
“YOU HAD A GOOD TIME. DON’T THINK I DIDN’T SEE YOU WITH THAT BILBY.”
“SHE WAS A LADY, DAMMIT!”
“SHE HAD AN ADAM’S APPLE BIGGER THAN MINE.”
“I KNOW YOU’RE UPSET. BUT REALLY, FRED, WHERE ARE WE?”
“I…HAVE A THEORY.”
“I LOVE YOUR THEORIES.”
“FUCK YOU. ANYWAY…I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.”
“YOU HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT EVERYTHING. IT’S A WONDER YOU EVER GET SHAGGED.”
“SHUT UP.”
“WAIT, DID YOU GET SHAGGED LAST NIGHT? DID YOU?”
“THAT’S PERSONAL.”
“YOU DIDN’T, DID YOU. YOU’RE STILL A VIRGIN.”
“GEORGE, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO PISS ME OFF.”
“IT SMELLS WEIRD. ALMOST FAMILIAR.”
“WELL, THE FLOOR’S…THERE’S THINGS LITTERED ABOUT. RIGHT MESS OF A PLACE THIS IS.”
“YOU COULD CLEAN IT UP. I’VE SEEN YOU DO IT.”
“WHEN WE GET HOME YOU’RE DOING KITCHEN AND LOO.”
“COME ON–”
“YOU PROMISED. GO DRINKING WITH ME, YOU SAID, AND I’LL DO THE CHORES FOR A WEEK.”
“I DIDN’T MEAN IT!”
“LOOK, THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAS HAPPENED. WE GET OUTSIDE, WE FIND A BUS, WE GO BACK TO MELBOURNE AND WE GO HOME. FIRST STEP IS GETTING OUTSIDE.”
“…”
“GEORGE, DON’T IGNORE ME. I HATE IT WHEN YOU IGNORE ME.”
“SHE’S BEAUTIFUL.”
“WHAT?”
“BLOODY BEAUTIFUL.”
“WHO’S–OH HOLY FUCK!”
“SHE’S PURRING!”
“IT’S NOT A SHE! IT’S NOT A SHE!”
“LOOK AT THAT COAT!”
“WE’RE LEAVING!”
“HEY!”
…to be continued
