Snippets

Toni Blay / Foter

Agility Training:

Dog: I CAN’T GO ON.
Me: Two more miles.
Dog: I AM DYING. DYING, I TELL YOU.
Me: Two more miles.
Dog: YOU ARE A CRUEL MISTRESS. DYING. AM DYING.
Me: Mile and a half.
Dog: DYI–ohai! SQUIRREL! HEEEEEEEERD IT! *bolts*
Me: *leash wrapped around waist cuts me in half* AUGH!

Villains:

Code Boy: Why “Code Boy”? Why not, I dunno, “Black Hat” or something?
Me: Because that’s the villain in a Western.
Code Boy: …
Me: One where they wear pastel neckerchiefs.
Code Boy: I think you’ve watched too many.
Me: Don’t be a villain there, cowboy.
Code Boy: …yeehaw.

Scorpion:

Little Prince: Look, see, I made it for you. It has wings.
Me: That’s lovely.
Little Prince: It’s a scorpion. The wings turn into claws.
Me: …okay…
Little Prince: Flap flap! Chomp chomp!

Affection:

Miss B: MISSED YOU!
Code Boy: AUGH!
Me: ??? Hello?
Code Boy: Dog…
Me: Oh yeah, she goes for the nuts first. It’s how she shows affection.
Code Boy: …ow…
Me: We’re remarkably similar.
Code Boy: …will…remember…that…

History

Princess: It’s like Disney’s going back to its roots.
Me: The Forties? Or McCarthy hearings?
Princess: I didn’t watch that one, Mom. I meant Snow White.

Limits

Me: It’s a My Little Pony wedding video.
Code Boy: Don’t do this to me.
(Related: “Now, the erotic cosplay scat fetishists…there’s a thought.”)

Casa Saintcrow: always an adventure.

  • martianmooncrab

    you are the Ringmistress of Casa Saintcrow…

  • Kristina L.

    Your house, it’s never boring, and never wanting for humor. Also, I thought everyone knew that the black hats were the villains in the westerns?