If We Don’t, Who Will?
Sometimes the days when I am most productive are the days I feel like I’ve gotten nothing done, because of the sheer amount of time I’ve spent running around with my hair on fire. I guess adulthood, motherhood, and working in publishing are all like that.
So here I am with one book revised and out of the way, a short story boiling in the foreground (got to get to that before it boils over and spills something) and a ton of correspondence done. Where did the weekend go? Oh, yeah. I worked straight through it.
Great.
Still, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m supposed to be celebrating how far I’ve come over the next two weeks. Looking back I can see the changes, the peaks and valleys. There’s a long way yet to go, but for a while at least the hard part is behind me. At least I scraped along the bottom for a while, and now I can feel the lift gathering under my wings to help me back up.
I’m going to start my celebration with some leftover Indian food for lunch. And by putting on the two rings I just got. They are simple silver bands. On the inside of each is etched the simple words: I love you. They’re promise rings–and they’re a promise I’m making to myself. I am going to love myself. I need to be the first person I nominate for that job. I am tired of what Irene O’Garden so memorably called “the venom of the Bitch Within.” I deserve better.
So, dear Reader, this Thanksgiving week you can imagine me being grateful for how far I’ve come. Every person who’s ever been knocked down and wondered if they could ever get back up–you can. Here’s my hand. See the rings? Imagine the slight scratch of etched silver against your own skin, whispering I love you all day, every day. Let that be a gift you give yourself.
It’s a damn hard job. But if we don’t love ourselves, who will?
Over and out.
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November 23rd, 2009 at 2:44 pm
you do more in one day than most folks do in a week.
Like my Gran used to tell me, if Life knocks you down, get up, if it knocks you down again, get up, when you get knocked down again and dont feel like getting up, crawl.
*You* are loved.
November 23rd, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Thanks for this post. I love it — also the ring and the idea behind it.
November 23rd, 2009 at 2:57 pm
You are phenomenal. I love seeing updates like this
November 23rd, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Get outta my head! I was JUST (like a few hours ago) talking about needing to love myself first.
Also, you appeared in my dreams this week. We were at Powell’s, you were giving good advice. (Too bad I couldn’t remember the advice when I woke up, only that it was good!)
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:42 pm
My promise to myself ring has my initial on it. I too made my promise to myself at the end of a relationship.
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:41 pm
I commend you Lilith. Congratulations on the new rings. That seems to be the right thing to do and you’re on your way. Congratulations on getting so much done. Just take everything one day/moment at a time and you’ll be amazed at the amount that you get done.
November 24th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
I think the rings are a good idea, and I can say that from personal experience. I have a ring that I have worn daily (with the possible exception of a day or two when I was sick enough to barely leave my bed) ever since my ex and I divorced. It is my reminder to be true to me, and it works. I hope your rings do the same for you.
November 25th, 2009 at 10:03 am
My mother’s a second-grade teacher and she did a great activity with her kids this week – she had them all try and think of something that they didn’t like, but that they were grateful for. Mom gave the example that she doesn’t like hearing the alarm clock, but that she’s grateful for it because it gets her up looking forward to a good day. One of the kids said she was grateful for bees – even though they sting, she likes the honey. I thought it was great.