Lilith Saintcrow

Crossposted to the Deadline Dames, where we’ve had releases and giveaways all week. It’s been pure madness! Check it out!

This Friday’s post will be short and sweet, as I have several errands to run, an air conditioner to install (yes, it arrives AFTER the heat wave, but I am not complaining) and a ton of other stuff around the house to do, stuff I put off during the OMG 100+ degree days we’ve had recently.

Today’s question comes from Reader MJ:

You’ve written about the addictive nature of the internet and its dangers to serious writing (and to authors themselves). I’d like to ask about a variation on that topic. How valuable is social interaction to you as a writer, and what part does the internet play in that social interaction? Do you have interactions there you can’t/don’t have face to face, or is the internet the last place you can just “be yourself”?

First off, disclaimer. The Internet is different things to different people. I am not sure I am normal in many ways, especially when it comes to social interaction. That being said, I’ll answer as best I can.

I am not a social person. Social gatherings or even dealing with the public is highly problematic for me. I’m even phobic about my phone, for Chrissake. Working retail was an endless nightmare for me. And don’t even get me started on office politics…

I like email because it gives me a bit of necessary distance between me and what another person wants. Growing up in a family where one’s boundaries were constantly trampled and survival depended on anticipating as best one could, the implication that someone needs something from me is high-stress. I like to save my limited energy and time for interaction for my close friends and family, because there is so little of both.

I am an extraordinarily solitary person. I’m not as bad as Bukowski, but I need stretches of time alone. Being essentially a single mother and the “safe place” for various friends means I have to be vigilant about my solitary time, and make sure to get it in so I don’t have nerve endings sparking like exposed wires. (This makes me, as you can imagine, So Not Fun To Be Around.)

So, social interaction is on the one hand immensely valuable to me as a writer–because I am writing about people, and I observe them endlessly whenever I can–and on the other hand, not so valuable and maybe even actively harmful, because a lot of times people drain me.

The thing that’s valuable to me on the Internet is that I can control my response time. The slight bit of distance and time between receiving an email etc. and the time I answer it provides me with a crucial hairsbreadth in which to consider the situation. To me, a lot of online interaction is safer, and it’s the only way I have of communicating with my fans. Let’s face it–I’m pretty poor. I’m supporting four people and the cats on my writing, and I don’t have extra for childcare. This is partly why I don’t visit a lot of conventions or do a lot of signings–I simply can’t afford the cash outlay.

The Internet has allowed me to have a personal relationship with my readers in a way that would not have been possible before. And it provides me the distance I need in several social interactions, a distance that keeps me from descending into being a twitching ball of self-destructive nerves.

I don’t have interactions on the Internet that make it “easier” for me to “be myself.” For one thing, I’m 33 now. I am myself, and I think I am only going to become more so. (It’s about damn time.) There are certain aspects of the Internet–chat, for example–that I don’t use because there are parts of myself I don’t want to share, as a public person. So my Internet use is curtailed by the idea that I am a public person, and the anonymity of the Web can be pretty flimsy. This is a curtailment I take gladly, because the benefits the Web offers vastly outweigh any pain I might feel at the loss of things I might want to do.

I am friends with a lot of people–my beta reader, the mods on my forum, fellow authors–who I would have never met without the Internet. So, as far as a wider acquaintance pool to draw friends from, the Internet has really worked for me. On the other hand, there’s been a lot of stalking and bad behavior I’ve been subjected to because of–you guessed it–the Internet. Again, the benefits far outweigh the dangers, especially when some simple precautions can ameliorate the dangers.

Still, there is no real substitute for going to a public place, settling down with a coffee or a bottle of water, and watching people. Writers are chronicling the human condition, and you can’t do that without observation of humans–yourself included. I’ve written elsewhere about the benefits of observation, but observation is not quite social. It requires a little bit of standing apart, and in that sense all writers are outsiders.

But to get back to the point, the social interactions on the Web have been very good to me, especially considering my gracelessness in face-to-face social interactions. The crucial little bit of distance gives me time to collect myself before I say/do something. (Sometimes I don’t use that space, but hey, nobody’s perfect.) For someone who is intrinsically a hermit and pretty introverted (despite giving a different impression when I set my mind to it) it is a godsend.

And now, for the giveaway! To celebrate the Dames release week madness, I am giving away two signed copies of Redemption Alley, the latest Jill Kismet book. To win, all you have to do is comment at the Deadline Dames before midnight on Saturday, August 1. PLEASE NOTE THAT YOU HAVE TO COMMENT THERE, NOT HERE. Winners will be chosen with the help of Random.org. Please note that I can only send books to US addresses. Sorry about that.

Well, now, isn’t this a red-letter occasion.

First up, The Eternal Kiss, a YA vampire anthology with Libba Bray, Holly Black, Rachel Caine, fellow Dame Karen Mahoney, and several other awesome authors, including Yours Truly…is now released! You can find it at Barnes & Noble, Indiebound, Borders, and (for those of you still shopping there) Amazon. My short story, Ambition, almost didn’t get into the anthology. Nevertheless, it’s there–and it’s about one simple question: How far will you go for a taste of what everyone else has?

Aaaand…I am pleased and proud to report that the third Jill Kismet book, Redemption Alley, is now officially released! You can find it at Barnes & Noble, Indiebound, Borders, and Amazon.

When her police contact asks her to look into a “suicide”, Jill Kismet suddenly finds herself in a labyrinth of deception, drugs, murder–and all-too-human corruption. The cops are her allies, except for the ones who want her dead. The hellbreed are her targets, except for the ones who might know what’s going on. Her city is in danger, time is running out, and each lead only draws her deeper.

Step into Redemption Alley…

In many ways, this is my favorite Jill Kismet book. We don’t see Saul–he’s visiting the reservation to tend to family trouble. We barely see Perry. Instead, we see how Jill deals with the humans she interacts with, especially the police. And the last five words of this book make me cry every time.

I don’t have my author’s copies for Eternal Kiss yet. But I do have a few Redemption Alleys, and stay tuned for the Friday writing post, where I will run a giveaway. Also, if you’re signed up for my newsletter, the Dark Side, tomorrow I’ll be running another giveaway strictly for Dark Side subscribers.

And as always, you can contact Cover to Cover Books if you’d like to buy signed or personalized copies of any of my books (except the Anna Beguines, they’re pretty spendy.)

I think this is the first time I’ve been too busy to be more than moderately nervous about a book release. Which is good.

And now, if you’ll pardon me, it’s supposed to be 106 in the shade today. It’s too hot. I’m going to lay in front of the air conditioner and count my blessings.

Busy day. Time for new running shoes for one of my sisters, and a trip to the grocery store. At least both places will have air conditioning.

This heat really kills me. I couldn’t afford an air conditioner last week when I knew this heat wave was coming, now I can afford one…and there’s not one for love or money in the Vancouver metro area. Driving into Portland without air conditioning is so not an option. So I guess we deal with what we got. Which isn’t too bad.

Since it’s not cooling off during the night, this is the kind of weather that makes for interesting police blotter reports. The apartments behind us have sirens all night. Some idiot kids were setting of firecrackers at one in the morning.

I can’t wait for the heat to break.

In other news, I’ve got the emotional point of entry to the Kismet short story. It’s always the same–feeling along in the dark until the character opens up and shows you the place to slide in, where you can set your hook and start pulling the story in. It’s great when it happens, you just have to keep it up until then.

Eck. I’m going to go soak up someone else’s AC for a little bit.

First of all this Monday morning, there’s a post (with a giveaway) over at Deadline Dames announcing the release of The Eternal Kiss, a YA vampire anthology I’m in with tons of great authors. My own story, Ambition, is a very dark little tale. Almost too dark. It just barely snuck in.

This week is chock-full of Dame releases, including my own Redemption Alley, the next in the Jill Kismet series. In many ways Redemption Alley is my favorite Jill book. We get to see Jill dealing with things on her own, her growth as a character to get to this book has been good for me to see, and the last five words? They make me cry every time. Much of this book was heartwrenching for me, especially as I was writing it in what I suspected (and was right about it being) a calm before the storm in my personal life.

Caution: I am about to geek about WoW, for those of you who asked about my delirious tweetage of finally hitting level 80…

About World of Warcraft…the toon I just hit 80 on is a death knight. Don’t sneer–I got a nelf hunter to 77 but when I tried to transfer her to my new account (long story short: the UnSullen wanted to do dungeons with me) various hijinks occurred. I ended up just bagging that character and leveling another nelf hunter to 58 while playing a belf pally with the UnSullen. Then I switched to a belf DK to see what all the fuss was about, and so I could quest with the UnSullen’s high-level orc shaman.

Much to my surprise, I found out that I liked playing a melee character. I went with unholy because of the movement speed and the ghoul pet, but I might double-spec in Frost for tanking. And I did get myself a Titansteel Destroyer. I might name it “Pain.” Or something even more terrifying, like…”Fluffy.”

I don’t give out my character names, because I like to be anonymous on WoW. I tend to quest alone and only dungeon with the UnSullen and his buddies, for the same reason that I pick male toons and shift them to female when I’m high-level. For some reason, people don’t bother male toons as much, so I can play solo and not get a lot of grief. I play WoW at the end of long days so I can avoid thinking and have clear-cut, nonambiguous goals and a sense of achievement when I reach them–even if those goals are purely illusory pixels.

Plus, with a girl toon in dungeons, I found myself trying to smooth things over and make people get along. (It was worse when I leveled my nelf priest to 48 before several patches–priests sucked and I had to be everyone’s effing therapist or mother in dungeons.) I don’t feel that need with a boy toon.

But now that I’ve reached the magic 80 I figure I can have a girl toon. Being level 80 means not having to be everyone’s therapist–at least until the next expansion comes out. *snork*

This concludes my WoW geekery. Heh.

My semi-vacation is over, and I have a short story to finish and another one to revise before final submission this week. I think if I keep the goals small and attack them in bite-size chunks it will be easier. Because I don’t want my vacation to be over. I’m not nearly done goofing off yet. Waaaah.

It’s going to be up in the 100s this week, and high humidity. Hopefully I can get out to Target and buy another couple fans. I might buy a second air conditioner, too. This is just unlivable. 80 degrees before 11AM. Ugh. We are drinking gallons of iced sun tea.

Over and out.

Crossposted from the Deadline Dames, which is full of all sorts of wonderful things. Check it out!

Last week I brought you the things writers should do with social media. (You can also check out Monica Valentinelli’s recent SFWA article about online marketing, featuring Alex Bledsoe, Yasmine Galenorn, and Yours Truly.) I promised the should nots this week, and I shall fulfill.

This week, I promise to try not to rant.

I said try. My spirit is willing, but my flesh, alas, is occasionally weak.

I’ll start with the biggest and most obvious first. Ready?

Social media is not an ego game. The biggest mistake I see a lot of writers making is falling into the “numbers” trap. As in, “I need X followers/”friends” to be a Real True Celebrity!” I see giveaways–”when I reach X many friends I’ll give away Y” and promo stunts all aimed at upping the follower/”friend” count. Don’t do this, okay? It is not classy. It makes you look desperate.

If you are at a party and a used car salesman corners you and starts trying to tell you that you need to buy a car from him, what do you do? You make polite appropriate noises and escape as soon as possible, and avoid that person in the future. Social media is kind of like that party. Actual mixing is content, hitting the advertising button too hard is desperation and being a cheap shill. The former gains you followers in an organic manner. The latter turns people off and will not get you a quality network. Which leads us to:

Don’t be fooled by quantity. Carla Harker had this to say last week: When I see a new follower has hundreds or thousands of people they follow, I don’t think they are actually interested in what I have to say. I think all they’re trying to do is increase their own follower numbers. I know that’s not always right, but that’s what it appears from my side of things. I’d rather follow someone following a few dozen people–even if I’m not one of them–than be one of thousands.

Too often we mistake sheer quantity for quality when it comes to social media. Now, you can argue that if even a fraction of a sheer-quantity network pays attention, you will reap reward. I would argue right back that those rewards are transient and no substitute for a quality network, where people follow/friend because you provide real content and end up being enthusiastic about you for a variety of reasons. A recommendation from someone in a quality network will carry more weight than spam from a sheer-quantity network, the same way a word-of-mouth recommendation from one of my personal friends will carry more weight with me than an ad campaign, however crafty and cool the ad campaign is.

This touches on the principle of asymmetric follow. On Facebook, MySpace, or Goodreads I accept “friend” requests because the structure of those networks means I have to in order to connect with those fans. It’s a function of the network, true.

On Twitter, however, I “follow” the people who provide content I need/am interested in. There’s a huge difference between my follow list and the list of people following me because I am providing varied kinds of content, while cherrypicking Twitter for content I want to read/personal networking. Which brings us to the next thing.

Do not mistake your followers or “friends” for, well, actual friends. I actually came across this a lot on LJ. If you are a writer, published or seeking publication, you should not think of your followers in social media networks as friends in the traditional sense. They are your customers, they are your fanbase, they are “following” you because you are a content provider. This is a professional relationship and deserves to be treated like one, because you are using social networks as a PUBLIC personality, not for private reasons.

Yes, it sucks. But if you are published or want to be, you cannot be treating the Internet like it’s private. IT’S NOT. For some people, their blog can be private and their Facebook page only a way to connect with their real-life friends. This is not how it is if you’re using social networks professionally. Using them professionally means your cutesy or flirty posts, or the posts where you rant about reviewers, or really any inappropriate behavior, have career consequences. And those consequences are hardly ever good.

So, you’re a writer using social media. Your followers and “friends” like your books/short stories. They do not need to know about your sex life, or about more of your personal life than people at a party you’re attending in a professional capacity. There is a line here that is easy to cross, since you have both the illusion of privacy (you’re sitting alone in front of your computer) AND the illusion of community (we’re built to get emotionally involved with people we communicate with) when you use the Internet. Sometimes the line is in different places for different people–I’ve mentioned that other people put pictures of their kids up, which is something I would never do. Some people do talk about their pets or what they had for lunch. In small doses, personal information helps your fans feel closer to you.

In large doses, it’s a recipe for oversharing and disaster. Get it through your head that your followers and “friends” online deserve professionalism from you. As Maura Anderson said when I put out the call for advice last week: I know it’s easy to be cutesy and flirty and maybe a tad out of line but, again, you are not talking to a few friends on the phone or in person. You are broadcasting this to the world. While it may be easy to excuse it as “being human”, it can often convince potential readers or employers that, at best, you have really poor judgment.

Don’t spam. Don’t spam. DO NOT SPAM. For every 2% of promo, you need to have 98% of actual content to balance it out. Announcing book releases, giveaways, and interviews is okey-dokey. Having that be the ONLY THING you announce is going to make people feel like you never open your mouth except to sell them something. This is most uncool, since it violates the implicit contract in a social network–that you are not there just to sell something, that you are there to connect on some level. Since social networks are so easy to use for spamming, there is a backlash against anyone perceived to do so. Anger at other more blatant spammers will get turned onto you if you’re perceived to be one of their ilk. This is not fair, but it’s the way it is. Deal.

Also, Facebook and Goodreads people? Do not send out invites saying “Become my fan!” or “Read my book!” This puts you squarely in the spam/desperate shill category, and turns me off. If it turns even me off, and I understand the principle behind it, think of how much it would alienate your prospective audience of readers. A fan-based network sending me an invite is cool and comes from a quality network. You recommending your own book to me on Goodreads is part of a quantity network, and is a cheap shill. Don’t do it.

Don’t post while angry. Anger will make you stupid. It will make mistakes for you.

OK, I’m going to halfway break one of my rules here. Ready?

I was angry last night about reviewers (yes, this is plural, there’s been a rash lately) who pan my books when they can’t even spell the characters’ names right. I had a lot of spleen to vent and I could have written a scorching rant of a blog post. Did I? No. It was hard to step away. I ended up leveling to 80 out in Northrend instead, which may have been a waste of time but at least it wasn’t a waste of time that would set off an Internet sh!tstorm and make me look like a jerkwad. Don’t post when you’re pissed.

Respond appropriately. I don’t respond to follow requests on Twitter. I respond only briefly to “I reviewed your book!”–with a “Thank you, I’m glad you read it.” I respond more in depth to fans who ask questions or interact with me on Facebook and Twitter. I’ve only been involved in one involved debate, and that was a discussion of DRM with a couple other industry professionals. I pick and choose what to respond to, and will do a general answer when a lot of people ask me the same question. It’s kind of an art form. When in doubt, be brief and polite. Which brings up another thing:

Don’t forget to write. Like, actually write. Social networks are built to be addictive timesucks. That’s why they work–they take advantage of natural human urges and response patterns. Don’t get so wrapped up in your social networks that you forget your job. Which is actually producing those books the fans pick up and read–you know, the reason they are impelled to find you on social networks in the first place.

The trusty kitchen timer is your best friend here, too. Set limits on your social-networking time. This will force you to prioritize and also (hopefully) force you to get your real work done. It is all too easy to lose track of the reason why you’re doing this, because social networks are so seductive and every time you get a reply, you get an ersatz jolt of “connection” that turns your biological wiring into pudding. Pudding doesn’t think straight, and it’s so, so easy toget addicted to that jolt. Don’t make that mistake.

All right, that about wraps up what I see as the most egregious errors writers commit on social networks. Now it’s your turn–the comment section awaits. Be polite, but be honest. Tell me what writers shouldn’t do in social media.

I’m listening.

Special thanks to Monica Valentinelli, Maura Anderson, and Carla Harker for discussions about social media. Thanks also to the people on Twitter and Facebook who discussed, offered advice, and generally gave me the grist for this mill of a post. Thank you all very much