Lilith Saintcrow

The turkey was fabulous. Everything else was done at the right time–stuffing, relish, mashed creamer potatoes, steamed broccoli, sliced challah. The FIL is heading back north on the train, stuffed full and with a bag full of cranberry nut loaf (Fresh cranberries, ZOMG) and challah and turkey.

Everything went like clockwork. There was only one minor disaster–my empty kettle on a burner that got turned on by mistake. So, possibly-ruined kettle. But otherwise, it all went well. Especially the caramel sticky buns. The kitchen is cleaned up (bless the UnSullen One for unloading the dishwasher numerous times today) and the last load of dishes is in the washer, the turkey bones are simmering in the crock pot preparatory to the last picking off of meat and the making of stock. I sense soup in our future.

There have been numerous requests for my Dream Pie recipe. My mother used to make something very much like this, only her recipe involved baker’s chocolate and some sort of cream cheese thing, and I firmly believe that when I buy baking chocolate a candy thermometer is not far behind, and that is ALL KINDS OF TROUBLE. Not too long ago I put together a simple recipe that fits the bill and tastes like what I had in childhood. I found variants of this recipe all over the Net, but the packets of whip mix seem to give the pie a gritty mouthfeel I don’t like at all. YMMV.

So here it is. It’s super-quick and has no nutritive value whatsoever. (The best kind of dessert!)

Dream Pie

1 graham-cracker pie crust
1 8 oz. tub of Cool Whip or other whipped topping (I like the Extra Creamy kind)
1 packet of instant chocolate pudding mix
1 1/2-2c cold milk

Dump the pudding mix in the mixer bowl. Add 1c. cold milk, beat just until mixed. Glorp the Cool Whip in and work mixer up to medium speed until well mixed. Stop the mixer, scrape the sides of the bowl down, and add the extra 1/2-1 c. of milk depending on the consistency. (You can also add a half-teaspoon of amaretto flavor; I’ve sometimes put a splash of Bailey’s in the mix if I’m making it for adults only. Since the kids love the pie so much, though, I rarely do that.)

This–getting the consistency right–is the only “hard” part of the recipe, and it only takes once or twice to get down. You want it stiffer than pudding, about as stiff as a very thick cake batter. I’ve learned that the consistency depends on room temperature and humidity to an astonishing degree (whodathunkit?). Start with a half-cup of milk and only dribble in the other half if absolutely necessary. Turn the mixer up and whip the hell out of it–you want it nice and fluffy, and if you add too much milk it might not stand up.

Fear not, though. If you accidentally add too much milk, you can dump the whole runny mess in the pie shell and freeze it uncovered overnight. Then you’ll want to stick it in the fridge at lunchtime the next day in order to have it nice and thawed for dinner’s dessert. And voila, it’ll be perfect.

If it turns out exactly the right consistency, you can cover it loosely with foil and stick it in the fridge. It should be good to go after 4hrs or so, or until the next evening.

This pie doesn’t usually stick around long enough to stay more than one night in the fridge. If you’re planning on keeping it after it’s been cut, make sure you cover it a bit tighter with the foil, and stick it in the fridge. (For some reason, Saran Wrap doesn’t seem to work to keep it from drying out too much, but foil does the trick. Again, YMMV.) Some people like this pie frozen, but I like it nice and refrigerator-soft. You can spread more Cool Whip on it, too, making it even less nutritious and more delicious.

Just so we’re clear, there is absolutely no nutritive value to this dessert. It’s pure unadulterated junk food, but that’s how I like it. And there it is–Dream Pie.

Hope your Thanksgiving was as low-stress as mine. I had a blast cooking–brushed the turkey with olive oil and sprinkled with poultry seasoning, then cooked it under a loose tent of foil until the last hour or so, when I whisked the foil off and it browned up beautifully. I was told it was the nicest, moistest turkey the boys could remember. Which was awesome. The relish was even better after soaking all night, and I finally have cherry pie down.

I’m tired but very happy. This is probably the least stressful Thanksgiving I can remember, and I’m very happy for it. And dammit, I think I can cook. Which is a completely awesome thing.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Related posts:

1. Mmmmmmm. Pie.
2. The Five Steps To Making A Romance Novel
3. More Release Madness!

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 27th, 2008 at 9:24 pm and is filed under Cooking, Real Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.