The End Of Selene, And Distractions
Good morning! The very last bit of my free serial novel, Selene, went live this morning. Now the entire thing is up on the Web. Which is scary, but also exhilarating. So now, um, you can read it from beginning to end. There’s also the fan forum, where you can discuss it with other readers.
Whew. Getting the chapters scheduled and proofed and last-minute tweaked every weekend was a chunk of time. I’m both sorry and glad it’s over.
One more aside: plenty of you have been asking when the next Jill Kismet book is out. It’s Redemption Alley, and it’s scheduled for an August 2009 release. Don’t worry–there will be other books between now and then! (Like The Demon’s Librarian. More on that later.)
Caitlin Kiernan had a great blog post up this morning. The kernel of it for me was this passage:
Point is, as an author, I must have solitude. Even though, mostly, it frightens me. I hate the sound of my own mind in the absence of all other sound. It is a dreadful roar. And so, especially over the last year and a half, I have fled into the arms of this plethora of services that help to dampen the noise. It’s not so very different than the trouble I’ve had, on and off, my whole life with pills and alcohol. Something to take the sharp, gleaming edge off being alone with myself. When, in truth, being alone with myself a little more often is exactly what I need. It’s what any author must have. It’s no good to have a room of one’s own, if you then fill it up with unending interaction with Others. Link
I read that and thought, goddamn, she’s nailed it right on the head. I could quote the whole thing, but that would kind of destroy the point of linking to it. I’ll settle for adding a few thoughts.
I don’t often talk about a writer’s need for solitude, mostly because Bukowski probably said everything that needed to be said on that score. When all is said and done, it’s just you and that blank page. Simple ingredients to make magic–but also, something so simple it gets overlooked and trampled on. Kind of like Saruman breaking his “white” robes into many colors, and Gandalf remarking He who breaks a thing to find out how it’s made is the worst kind of fool*. Breaking the simple equation of you and the blank page, adding a whole lot of crap to try to make it work better or (what happens more often) be less of a hard-work, self-directed activity is an exercise in futility.
I rarely get any time alone with myself. There’s the kids, of course, and cooking dinner and the housework and the schoolwork. I am constantly interrupted at the keyboard, constantly needing to settle disputes, grade a paper, look at a little person’s newest achievement, look at the ringing phone. I’ve become a master of multitasking, of finding time to get the words down.
And I also, every night I can, leave the kids and the Muffin and the Teen in the house while I got for an hour-long walk or so. It’s hard to drag myself out the door when I’m so, so tired. I just want to sit and veg, maybe read some online comics, play a video game–something so I don’t have to think. I get to a state of exquisite exhaustion at about seven PM every night without fail.
But I drag my sorry ass out the door anyway. If it’s raining I put my spectacles in my pocket. I put my head down, I try not to feel like I’m shirking a responsibility, and I flee. I try not to feel guilty at the sudden jolt of beautiful freedom, and I walk as fast or as slow as I need to.
After about fifteen minutes I’m too far away from home to deal with any huge emergency, and I relax further. I start Looking At Things. Shapes, shadows, colors. The characters start speaking inside my head. This is when most of the heavy lifting of plotting and just-plain-freeform thinking happens. Cold, wind, rain, blazing heat–none of it matters.
This is something I have to do in order to be effective. I have to renew myself, refill myself so I have something to give.
It’s like my weekly volunteering at the bookstore. Taking that break means I’m rested and renewed when I come back, as an effective mother, writer, and fulcrum of our household. I cannot hope to take care of anyone else–much less do the huge job of daily supporting and caring for little people, or burning the hi-octane fuel writing demands–if I don’t first take care of myself. The engine of work requires regular maintenance. It’s not pretty to drain yourself down to a dry husk and start scraping bottom.
It can be something so simple as setting your trusty kitchen timer for ten minutes and locking yourself in the bathroom. When this timer rings, I will be yours again. But for right now, I am only my own. That little trick has literally saved lives–and whole books, too.
I’ve been awash in distractions lately, and spent more time surfing than working. Now that the serial is done, I’m taking a small sabbatical so I can come back and be better than ever. So, I’ve declared next week my blog-free zone. I just need the time I spend on this every morning for the current book, and I need to turn off the wireless and spend some time with the inside of my head again. Surfing has become a timesuck, mostly because it’s so easy and also because I’m doing some new things with the current book, and those new things are hard. They require a little more petting and attention. And, um, well, I avoid just like every other writer.
I can admit that.
So I’ll be back with a vengeance and a writing post next Friday, dear Readers. Until then, take care of yourselves.
It’s a lot easier to be awesome when one is well-rested. And I want to be awesome.
Over and out.
* I cannot believe I just pulled that Tolkien reference out. Needless to say, it’s probably not an exact quote, but the spirit of it remains the same.
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October 3rd, 2008 at 11:30 am
I loved this story, I really did. Just wanted to let you know that while the ending was surprising and a wrenching, I agree it was the right call.
Those who complain about it should understand that it means there are more stories to come! The story is wide open now.
The whole serial was just fantastic. I will miss my 3x a week fix. I’d love to see another serial; those of us who tend to inhale books at one sitting had a chance to savor the story, since we had no other choice!
October 3rd, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Interesting… because I really enjoy my alone time. I think it comes from growing up in a house with one sister and 3 step-siblings, and then marrying a man who has the energy of six hyper children and who constantly wants to do things outside the house / with other people / anything that means he doesn’t have to sit still. Nothing makes me more calm and happy to be sitting by myself in total quiet. I think it’s for this reason that I enjoy driving at night — makes me feel more isolated.
Though I think I appreciate the alone time because I seldom get it. I do remember periods of my life where I was alone and in the silence *too* much, and it made me fidgity and distracted because I wanted the outside contact. Hmm.
To each their own, I suppose. And I need to read the Selene thing, I haven’t done that yet (I check these blogs while I’m at work and I can only sit and stare at one thing for so long without arousing suspicion… lol).
You have an addictive blog, missy! Make sure you come back after that week offline. I need my daily Saintcrow fix!
October 3rd, 2008 at 2:55 pm
ohhhhh my goddddd
that was awesome – what a roller coaster of a novel. Cant believe Orbit wouldn’t publish it – it was fab. But what a cliffhanger to leave it on. I would tut, but Lilith you are a God!!! or at least a goddess of writing, and I am so amazed you kept to your thrice weekly slots – amazed and ever so grateful.
I started reading your Dante Novels last year and just finished the 5th one. Do you know you can buy Dante books even in Hong Kong- really they are turning up in the strangest places.
I really really hope you do a final epilogue of Selene as its torture sheer torture to leave us all hanging like this.
I am telling everybody about your books and this mini series – you outshine the rest.
October 3rd, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Enjoy your free time and rest, we’ll manage to survive withdrawal from Selene…some way or the other: I may need to re-read my Dante’s books.
We love your books, we don’t want you to drain yourself!! 
I’d haul my a$$ through the ocean and get there cooking you some serious italian stuff, if it helped your writing!! 
October 3rd, 2008 at 5:09 pm
I still don’t get why the smilies go wandering around the posts all by themselves though…
October 3rd, 2008 at 6:06 pm
A quick question before I go read the epilogue. Any idea about when we’ll see the next Steelflower book?
October 3rd, 2008 at 8:43 pm
I must tell you that I am not that fond of vampire stories but this story had me and I had to finish it. I started reading it this afternoon. I really enjoyed it. I got lost in it. The type of writing that has me in its grip. It was simply great. I hope you are going to write a sequel. I want to know what happens when he finds Selen.
Thank you
October 4th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I am a fan of all the Dante Valentine books, and I have to say I like Selene EVEN BETTER.
Not only would I buy any and all books with Selene and Nik as the main charactors, but I am now DYING to find out what happens to them next!
When can I get my next fix?
I just want to point out that drug dealers regularly give the FIRST drugs for free, THEN they start to charge. I’m just sayin’….
October 4th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Its time to start again from the beginning and reread. I loved the novel, especially the flashbacks. I would like to see some of the early story of Selene and Danny.
October 5th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
I absolutely loved this story! I hope to read more about Selene and Nikolai.
I recently read the short story in “Hotter than Hell” and was compelled to read the rest of the story, of which I did today, within a few hours.
I am an avid fan of Laurell Hamilton, Charlaine Harris, Tanya Huff and LA Banks, along with a number of other great paranormal writers. I must say that this story ranks as one of the best.
Please continue the story!
October 6th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
[...] good read on the blogosphere is this post by Lilith Saintcrow about writers and solitude. I have the difficult thing, oftentimes, of wanting to be alone and [...]
October 7th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
I love solitude, I crave it, I need it.
I’m never as productive as when my time is unstructured, and I am ferocious about hacking out large swaths of unstructured time for the writing.
I believe it is part of the job of being a writer, as well as part of the joy of it, to be ruthless with our time. If the writing keeps falling father down the priority list, we just don’t want it enough.
I don’t mind being alone with my thoughts. I like the silence. I like to face the corners of the self, the psyche, even the unpleasant ones. Facing it makes me communicate it better, helps make the personal universal, and the universal personal. That’s part of the gig.
October 9th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Great novel!!! I’m suprised that it was available for free at Feedbooks and then irritated because I couldn’t find anything else under your name on their web site. Anyhow, it took a while and, Thank God for Google , here I am , really hoping that this is not the end of Selene. I’m avid reader and due to the certain cirrcumstances I read 2 books a day. Talking about adiction and obssessions, please…Now I’m going to download all your books and gladly pay them, and continue to hope that next Selene book will not take long. Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that this was my first vampire book , so this is the best praise I can give, when I say I’m hooked, cooked and drying for more.All the best…
October 19th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Loved Selene! Can’t wait to find out what happens when Nikolai finds her. Would pay for this in a book and the next one too. Keep it up and oh, I TOTALLY understand about the time pinch with kids, so I admire your persistence.
November 24th, 2008 at 8:00 am
I only just found this serial and I read it all in one day. I absolutely love this book and I really, really hope that you publish it so that I can get a copy for my home library. As for a sequel, I am begging you, please publish a sequel. I love the charachters and the story, even more that I loved your Dante series.