My comment policy owes a great deal to John Scalzi’s excellent example.

This is my site. On it, I say what I like. You are not required to like my opinions. (Sometimes I don’t even like them.) I reserve the right to moderate comments as I see fit and to ban whomever I please. Due to spam, trolls, and harassment, I have taken the step of disallowing comments wholesale.

Should I ever open comments back up, remember: Trolls may be disemvowelled, kittened, blocked, banned, or mocked for a number of reasons, including but not limited to: mansplaining, general douchebaggery, name-calling, and personal attacks. You may also find yourself disemvowelled et al. if I find you obnoxious. I also reserve the right to post, with full identifying information, threats to myself or to anyone else. At the very least, such threats deserve to be mercilessly mocked, and will furthermore be retained with said identifying information for law enforcement.

I very rarely have to invoke these policies, and I’d like to keep it that way. Most of my Readers are lovely people I would not hesitate to bake pies for. This is the Internet, though, and there’s always a few bad apples. Who have now been warned.