The Menstrual Fury Hat

BEHOLD, the Menstrual Fury Hat. It’s a Pussyhat Project hat off this pattern. I had a slight problem though: I loathe pink. I just…do. So I did a couple practice hats in a very dark red, almost burgundy acrylic–I called it “clotted menstrual blood color” on Facebook and was surprised when nobody unfriended me. The first one turned out comically large, so I’ll probably use it as a scrubbie or repurpose it as a bag, who knows? The second, done on size 8 needles instead of size 10, turned out beautifully, and the Little Prince claimed it. I explained what it was for and he said, “Oh, okay. Can I still have it?”

And I said, “Yes. Yes you may.”

Then I got some bright, bright crimson wool, and knitted another one. Which you may see above, and I wore to volunteering yesterday. (You can also see the circles I’m growing under my eyes. I’m proud of those.)

Since it’s not pink, I’m thinking it’s technically not a Pussyhat. So I called it the Menstrual Rage Hat. Then it occurred to me that “Fury” was better, because of the Erinyes. Several people have floated the idea of knitting a few more and putting them up in an Etsy shop. When I get supplies to make earrings I might do that, just for fun. Of course I’d probably have to charge something like $12-$15 and shipping, just to make it feasible, and who’s going to pay that for a hat that doesn’t have a feather? I mean, really.

Right now, though, I’m knitting a shawl. No, it’s not red. It’s gray and black, and I might even add fringe when I’m done with it. I do a couple rows in between achieving wordcount for each project I have going, and it’s growing at an exhilarating rate. I’d forgotten how much fun knitting is, when I’m not spitting with frustration at a pattern I don’t understand.

Go figure.

  • I’d pay $15 for a hat. I don’t have the skills to knit.

  • Kassandra

    I like the idea of the โ€œclotted menstrual blood colorโ€. I am not a pink person either. I would totally pay $15 for it too ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • You guys are enabling me. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Wolf Lahti

    The arcane art of knitting eludes me. No matter the size needles I try, the stitches always come out way too tight, such that I can barely force the point of the needle under the yarn. Yet I persist.

  • It’s a fine balance, and proper tension really does only come about with practice. I had to deliberately train myself to knit more loosely.

  • Kassandra

    How long does it take you to knit one up? Does it have a calming or restructuring effect? If so, I am happy to enable ๐Ÿ˜€

  • It generally takes me a couple working days to knit one. I’ll do a few rows when I’m stuck at a particular sentence, or when I’m shifting between projects, just to give my brain the signal that it’s time to move over. And yes, I find it very soothing. Unlike writing, one gets to see tangible progress immediately.

  • Amberle Foster

    My mom crochets (which I know isn’t exactly the same as knitting) but it frustrates her to no end when she has to undo rows because of one little hiccup with a stitch.

    I think I’ll stick with writing.

  • It is frustrating! It’s also really nice to see a piece grow in direct proportion to one’s effort, which doesn’t happen all the time with writing. ๐Ÿ˜›

  • Amberle Foster

    At least I can understand how to write. Things like knitting and crocheting escape me no matter how much people try to teach me. That, honestly, is more frustrating to me than writing will ever be.

  • I can understand that. It took me sitting down with a Dummies book, a high fever, and several crying fits before I figured it out. I feel your pain.

  • Amberle Foster

    I’ve given up on trying to learn the crafty things like knitting. Don’t need that frustration in my life right now.

  • Jen G.

    lol love it! Rock on!