I took the whole weekend off from the internet, and I feel cleaned-out and more at peace. I needed to do some thinking about my career, and it’s hard to do if I’m flitting around on social media all the time. I cleaned, I read, I moved a bunch of books from the “Favourites” shelves back into General Fiction to make room for more of the reference texts–Norton Criticals, dictionaries, fairytales from different cultures, medical manuals, the Victoriana shelves. Since I’m not writing Bannon & Clare any longer, the last can probably be moved too, but I don’t have the time today.
…what? No, of course I wasn’t thinking of quitting writing. I was thinking about what to write next, what direction to go in, and if a part-time job would be a good idea. The idea of a paycheck that arrives when it’s supposed to is very attractive, but really, what am I fit for? Writing, maybe teaching writing, I dunno. Maybe I should sign on at Starbucks. I like coffee. Except the idea of dealing with that amount of people, either behind or before the counter, makes introvert me want to curl up in a hole somewhere.
That’s the problem with writing as a career: I’ve become used to setting my own schedule, being with my own thoughts, and once I have the luxury of spending great swathes of time in solitude, it’s hard to go back.
I’ve thought of offering online workshops before. It seems a good way to capitalize on my experience AND do so around my writing schedule. But then I look at the initial startup costs and all that, and the math just doesn’t work out. It especially doesn’t now that I’m taking the hit to write Steelflower 2. Which is another struggle–I’m past the new shiny and into the long slog of the book, and feeling the pinch. These are also the times I wish I had another adult in the house to share some of the parenting workload–and not so incidentally, bring me coffee occasionally–but the idea of piling the emotional work of a relationship on top of everything else makes me shudder.
Oh well. Time to do what I’ve always done when this feeling shows up: buckle myself down, work harder, and keep an eye on online job applications. You never know. I could end up being hirable.
Okay. *wipes away tears of laughter* Yeah, that was sort of a joke. Time to go write.