A Funny Business

Rollin Sometimes you just gotta channel the Dude, and abide. It’s probably time for me to go visit Emphysema Joe and get some advice. Or even just sit for a bit, now that it’s not -20 outside. They’re even saying some sun today.

And why, may you ask, am I contemplating spending time out in my backyard talking to a resin statue of a pothead undead gnome? No real reason, I guess, except I found out the numbers on a certain series had plummeted, and as a result, well, the last three months of work might have been for naught. Publishing’s a funny business. You spend months waiting for some indication, any indication, of what the hell’s happening. You get so used to delayed gratification, and you also get used to the perceived helplessness of not knowing what the fuck for months at a time.

Of course, as the author, it sends me down into a spiral of “what did I do wrong? Did I somehow make the book suck? Have I run out of stories? I was excited, I gave it my all, but am I blind? Is it just a big pile of suck? Is my career over? If it is, how do I pay the mortgage? AUGH!”

You get the idea. Pretty much everything in a writing career seems designed to turn even the most well-balanced and sane of people into a neurotic mess. And of course, being not the best example of sane (come on, I am still chortling over an undead sorcerous hamster) I get tipped into a raging whirlpool of self-doubt, second-guessing, panic, and outright terror.

Nothing’s been decided yet, of course. I’ll probably get a call from my agent later today, and she’ll probably chide me for worrying, as she so often does. She’ll reassure me, and I’ll feel marginally better for a while. But the panic will still return at weird moments.

I love my job, but I’m not blind to its pitfalls. The knife of Not Looking Away cuts both ways more often than not.

So, if anyone needs me, I’ll be out in the backyard with the dogs, talking to Emphysema Joe.

  • Aletia

    What series?, so I can go out and buy it!!!

  • Paul

    Lilith you make a strong argument for living in the present (sometimes). Great post.

  • Again, what series? I’ll buy three. Your art is very much worthwhile and should be supported enthusiastically by all of your readers. Even if the occasional suckage were ever to occur. I haven’t seen any yet. Oh, and BTW, I just bought Steelflower thru Amazon and it reads so much like C.J.Cherryh at her best. Comin’ from me that’s about a huge compliment. Keep the faith.G.

  • martianmooncrab

    its the Unbelivers.. or the UnReaders… fault. Bookless Heathens!

    If you print it, I buy it.

  • This worries me! I enjoy your writing a great deal and it kills me when an author has to stop writing in the middle of a series. It’s not Bannon & Clare Is it?

  • Carmela Stotts

    Oh God ! Please not the Ripper Affair !! Bannon and Claire is one of the few consistently good steampunk series out there !!

  • Jess

    Must buy all the books. Must read all the books. Must buy all the formats.

  • naleta

    I’m behind on buying your stuff, so if you tell us which series, I can grab the ones that I don’t yet have, in order to help bump your numbers. I’m planning on buying all your books, but this way I can buy those books first. Prioritize!
    Also {{{HUG}}}