I Found Out

Twenties tango / Cutler, Chicago copied by photographer Sam Hood for a theatre Things I found out this weekend:

* I don’t like Savoy cabbage in my sauerkraut. The texture’s just not for me. It’s kind of a relief to find a fermented cabbage I don’t like. Now I feel much younger.
* Odd Trundles thinks giant daffodil bulbs are for snacking. WTF, dog?
* Sleeping with the Mad Tortie in my hair leads to neck cramps, which leads to blinding headaches.
* My health insurance provider, not content with the $100/mo premium increase they slapped me with for 2013, are tacking another one on for 2014. Probably getting what they can before the ACA starts driving costs down for healthcare consumers.
* Costco does not stock large bottles of Midol. (You’d think they would.)

Last weekend also taught me that Thrift Shop Horror has completely changed how I view thrift stores.

There was the ceramic bulldog who did not seem sweet-tempered at all. Then there was the Lord of the Teddy-Bear Flies shelf. I could almost hear the drums in the jungle. Then a very macho duck.

A macho, SOUL-EATING duck.

I turned the corner and looked up, and had a sudden attack of indigestion. Beaming down upon me was…I don’t even know who. The beneficent gaze of the soul trapped behind glass in that cheap frame gave me what my grandmother would call “the singin’ willies.” While that may sound like an euphemism for a very athletic sexual endeavor, it is actually meant to describe a creepifying sensation that gives you cold gooseflesh. All over.

 

WHATCHOO WANT?
WHATCHOO WANT?

 

The teddy bears smiled. They would crack open the giant head and eat well tonight, despite the head's attempt at camouflage.
The teddy bears smiled. They would crack open the giant head and eat well tonight, despite the head’s attempt at camouflage.

 

 

That's my girlfriend behind me. You ever talk to her again...
That’s my girlfriend behind me. You ever talk to her again…

 

I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL.
I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL.

 

 

ME TOO.
ME TOO.

 

 

Oh, thrift stores. You complete me.

 
 

  • particle_person

    Daffodil bulbs, eh? So that was the vet visit. (I swear someone used daffodil bulb extract as the poison in one of the detective novels I’ve read.)

  • wolflahti

    The really frightening thing is that for something to end up in a thrift store, someone has to have bought it in the first place.

  • Thank you I hadn’t heard this song before, so funny.

  • Katherine C.

    Dear Lord. Every time I see what’s in that frame I feel a cold chill through my chest. Seriously. It’s not the duck you have to worry about.

  • Jessica

    I went to the thrift store this weekend and it was full of clowns. I don’t like clowns.

    (OTOH, I got a pair of never-worn Doc Marten Mary Janes for $9, so maybe enduring the clowns was worth it)

  • My dog eats hosta leaves. Breaks them off at the stem and chews them down to nubs. Strange!