The Adventures of Fred & George

I'm NOT coming down...till you show me some nuts!!!...Guys, for what I am about to do, I am sorry. I couldn’t help myself. I got this parcel in the mail, and…well, you’ll see.

Readers, meet Fred and George, the Australian WonderTwin SquirrelShakers.

 

Mmmm, choco! Choco! From a certain Australian fan! How marvelous!

There was some movement inside, though.

 

 

Wait, What's This? Wait.
Wait just a second.

What the hell…?

 

 

 

Oy there! “GEORGE! WAKE UP!”
“GOD, WHAT A NIGHT. DID YOU GET HER NUMBER?”
“WAKE UP! WE’VE BEEN SHIPPED!”
“WHAT?”
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE?”
“DON’T ASK ME, MATE, LAST THING I REMEMBER IS THAT MARSUPIAL FROM CANBERRA AND HER LOVELY GAMS.”
“I CAN’T TAKE YOU ANYWHERE.”

 

Where The Fuck Are We? “THIS DOESN’T SEEM SO BAD.”
“YOU’RE ALWAYS AN OPTIMIST, FRED.”
“IT’S MY SUNNY DISPOSITION.”

 

 

 

 

You'll Have To Toss Me “I CANNA JUMP THE DISTANCE. YOU’LL HAVE TO TOSS ME.”
“I SHOULD NEVER HAVE LET YOU WATCH THOSE MOVIES.”

 

 

 

Coffee? “C…O…F…F…I WONDER IF WE CAN EAT THIS?”
“PROBABLY. BUT LET’S NOT, GEORGE. COME ON.”
“BUT I’M HUNGRY, MATE!”
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE HUNGOVER.”
“I AM! AND HUNGRY!”
“COME ON.”

 

 

 

 

Eat Like Kings “HELP ME PUSH THIS.”
“WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
“IF WE PUSH THIS OFF WE’LL EAT LIKE KINGS.”
“FOR GOD’S SAKE DON’T BE STUPID. LET’S LOOK AROUND FIRST.”
“FOR WHAT? MORE FOOD? THERE’S FOOD RIGHT HERE.”
“SHUT UP, GEORGE. COME ON.”

 

 

 

This Might Not Be So Bad “THIS MIGHT TURN OUT ALL RIGHT. SEEMS QUIET.”
“FUCK QUIET. I NEED A NOSH.”
“WE’LL EXPLORE A LITTLE BIT MORE, THEN GET YOU YOUR BLASTED NOSH. COME ON.”

 

 

A Little Exposed “I DUNNO, FRED. I FEEL A LITTLE…EXPOSED.”
“PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF.”
“I DON’T WEAR PANTS.”
“FOR FUCK’S SAKE, GEORGE–WAIT. WAIT JUST A SECOND. DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
“HEAR WHAT? I’M HUNGRY, FRED.”
“SHHH. GEORGE…I THINK WE’RE NOT ALONE.”

…to be continued

photo by: law_keven
  • OMG CAPSLOCK SQUIRREL!TERROR.

    PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE LET THEM MEET THE ZOMBIE GARDEN GNOME.

  • Lili

    *rubs hands together with fiendish glee* Oh, just you wait. JUST YOU WAIT.

  • My god you crack me up!

  • Beware crazy mind at work!

  • Gillian

    As an Australian I’d like to thank you for *not* using the phrase “flaming galahs” anywhere. I’ve never, ever, heard an Aussie use it but it’s *always* mentioned when I go overseas.

  • Lili

    I have never heard that term. *is baffled* What does it mean?

  • martian moon crab

    I have you know I have seen Gnome salt n pepper sets too… just sayin…

  • Denisetwin

    YAY! SQUIRREL!TERROR the ceramic edition!

  • Lili

    I have all the salt and pepper shakers I could ever want or need.

  • Gillian

    I do not even know. It’s supposedly used as a kind of exclamation.

  • Ashley

    WAIT. DID YOU CALL THEM FRED AND GEORGE AFTER THE A M A Z I N G TWINS IN HARRY POTTER??? *hopesandwishes*