When something takes years of effort, and it’s finally done, there’s a certain amount of emotional snapback. Which is pretty much where I am right now–brain is very mooshy, I’m tired, and as soon as I have lunch I’m ready to go back to bed. It’s not a question of having the energy–honestly, I’ve never had so much energy in my life, which is a good thing, because I’m juggling several chainsaws–but of wanting to retreat and curl up for a while.
When one adds the emotional snapback of sending off the first draft of the last in a series, it just gets compounded. Which is all a very roundabout way of saying I’m as close to zombie as I’ve ever been, the past couple days. I’m not watching movies or even listening to music–that sort of freaks the kids out, because I have music going all the time, normally. But I just can’t handle the sensory overload.
So what am I doing? Reading military history. Poking at a trunk novel that makes me happy, even if it is a gawdawful beast and I’m only adding a hundred words at a time, if that. Making cookies to take into the climbing wall. Feeding the next book I’m going to be working on, which is starting to bubble and ferment in a most interesting way in the back of my head. Wandering away from tasks halfway (it’s taking me a long time to write this post, FFS). And just generally sticking close to home and not wanting to do anything else.
It’s important, when you’ve been running the emotional engine high, hard, and hot for a long time, to let it cool down once the pressure’s off. I liken it to a flywheel spinning down, and part of that flywheel is the adrenaline-twitchy OMG KEEP MOVING KEEP MOVING LIONS TIGERS ZOMBIES ARGH! You get to where the itching under your skin to move is overwhelming, but if you move you’re just going to tire yourself out with fruitless thrashing. I’ve learned (at least, I’ve tried to learn) how to clamp down on some of that, so that I can let the rubber band relax instead of yanking it until it breaks.
And so…updates here will be spotty until the first of the year. By then I suspect I’ll have good news to share, and I’ll be ready to hit the ground running.
See you ’round.